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| | A Place To Smile and Laugh | |
|
+25cikguzam Corazón Roto samson arm4815 kimie zuan samsneeze qbee125 numiri lee VKings@Lanun troopers hafizz tcleo13 Jimmy Sell ron v3x nolane AndyJoe Bulk23 Pek_Hoon Admin sky7777 hafizazzim Eddy Undervein 600 safwan Batin 29 posters | |
Author | Message |
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tcleo13 marshall
Number of posts : 80 Location : Setapak, KL Registration date : 14/08/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Mon Apr 21, 2008 1:53 pm | |
| The Why's of Men 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius)2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time)3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions)4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know.....it never happened)And the personal favorite: 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart
A good laugh will do that for you. One for the ladies !!!! One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ' And they say blondes are dumb... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- * Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.' | |
| | | qbee125 marshall
Number of posts : 84 Age : 43 Location : lumut , shah alam , sepanga Registration date : 25/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:13 pm | |
| KERETA vs ABANG
dear abang,
ayang nak mintak kebenaran abang untuk bawa anak-anak balik ke kampung. abang tak perlu hantar ayang sebab ayang mampu untuk bawa anak-anak ke kampung musim cuti sekolah ni dengan bas.. abang jaga lah diri abang dan kereta abang baik-baik.... cuma ada perkara yang ingin ayang luahkan disini... kereta baru abang tu mahal.. harga mencecah 100k barangkali.. sebab tu abang sayangkan kereta abang lebih dari ayang.. sampaikan abang dah terlena dalam kereta abang tu sejak abang beli 3 bulan yang lalu dah masuk 3 malam... abang sayangkan kereta abang lebih dari ayang, nak tau ngape?
harga kereta abang tu lebih mahal dari wang hantaran yang ayah ayang letakan masa kita kahwin dulu.. cuba hantaran ayang lebih mahal dari harga kereta abang?
tiap-tiap pagi abang mesti gosok kereta abang, nak nampak berkilat..tapi ayang nak dapat kiss g.morning pun susah
sejak beli kereta tu, sebulan sekali macam-macam aksesori abang beli kat kereta, ayang nak dapat hadiah besday setahun sekali pun susah..
kereta sebulan sekali abang servis, abang kata kena jaga maintainance..ayang nak dapat pi salon setahun sekali pun susah..
kereta abang make up lawa-lawa.... tapi kalau ayang make up lawa-lawa abang kata ayang tak sedar diri
kereta abang bagi makan minyak mahal-mahal cecah 100 setin pun ada, ayang nak makan pizza sekeping jer masa mengidam anak kedua kita abang kata ayang mengada-ngada
kereta abang kalau anak-anak sentuh sikit bodynya abang marah anak macam nak makan, ayang jatuh longkang besar boleh abang gelak
paling menyedihkan... ayang tanya ngape tidur dalam kereta? abang jawab takut orang curi kereta abang.. kalau ayang kena curi??
ayang nak balik kampung dulu.. anak-anak nak jumpa atuk dengan nenek depa... tak nak naik kereta abang takut calar.. ayang calar takpe.. jaga diri elok-elok, sarapan ayang dah sediakan. ayang pi tak lama sekolah bukak ayang balik lah dengan anak-anak.. pesanan ayang..
ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU MASAKKAN MAKAN KESUKAAN ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU BASUHKAN PAKAIAN ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU GOSOKAN KEMEJA ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU SIAPKAN AIR MANDI ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU KEMASKAN RUMAH ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU URUT-URUT BADAN ABANG ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU TEMANKAN ABANG TIDUR
love, ayang
sambungan kereta vs ayang
Dear Ayang,
bukanlah abang sayang keta tu lebih dr ayang.. tapi ayang kene faham keta tu keta bos abang nnti kalau ilang sapa nak ganti.. ayang abang suruh keja ayang xnak, ayang kata nak dok umah jaga anak,nak siap kan sarapan nak kemas umah tapi ayang tiap2 hari bgn tido kul 12.. macam mana nak wat keja umah.. cuba lah ayang pk mana x abang tido dalam keta.. abang balik keja lambat skit ayang dah kunci pintu...bukan nye abang gi foya2 kan abang gi keja...lagi satu pasal piza yang ayang ngidam tu.. ayang nak piza yg di oder dr jepun.. mana lah abang ada duit nak oder.. abang nak bg apam balik yg jual kat depan ofis abang ni ayang xnak, ayang nak jugak piza dr jepun.. nasib baik abang x belikan kalau x anak kedua kita tu mesti muka cam doremon..ish xnak laa abang.. pasal hadiah kan abang dah belikan tapi abang sembunyi kan kat dapur.. ayang yang tersalah buang ingatkan sampah.. tu lah abang suruh kemas umah tu ayang kata umah kita dah bersih tapi hadiah dgn sampah pun dah jadi serupa jek..hadiah tu mahal tau abang beli untuk ayang.. sebenarnye abang sayang ayang lebih dr keta tu wlau pun hantaran masa kita kawin cuma rm80k..ayang x tau bpe kali abang turun naik bank nak wat loan rm80k..tapi demi ayang abang wat jugak.. sbb masa tu ayang kalau mekup mmg sebijik maya karin.. tapi sejak ayang wat rebonding 3 tahun lepas stp kali ayang mekup abang terbayang lak muka pontianak dlm citer phsm.... bukan ayang x cantik tapi kening ayang tu gi cukur wat per.. wlau pun abang selalu cukur janggut abang tapi ayang xyah laa nak cukur kening ayang tu...pasal morning kis tu, ayang bgn pun dah tghri nak morning kis cam mana.. dah laa ayang... abang malas nak citer.. tapi abang nak bg tau jgk kat sini ayang tetap no 1 dlm hati abang.. nanti kalau naik bas tu bebaik.. ayang nak balik kpg abang izinkan cuma jgn lupa kim salam kat mak ayah kat sana ... kalau ada gulai tempoyak ke nnti jgn lupa bwk balik skit.. kalau ada lembu terlepas ke ayang xyah laa susah2 gi kejar lembu tu... biar jek... nnti abang balik kpg abang kejar kan ..bukan apa takut lembu tu tanduk ayang nnti bukan stakat calar jek silap2 leh masuk hspital.. abang kene tanduk xpe.. jaga anak2 baik2 jgn bagi diorang main kat sungai musim2 banjir ni.. nak dpt anak bukan senang takut nnti ayang ngidam lagi piza jepun lak lagi haru.. baik jaga jek yg dah ada tu..ayang pun jaga diri baik2.. jgn sampai jatuh longkang lagi.. hehe.. abang mmg xnak ketawa masa tu tapi nak wat cam mana ayang jatuh kepala dulu yang masuk longkang..dah laa rambut ayang masa tu baru lepas rebonding.. mmg abang kesian tapi muka ayang lepas jatuh longkang tu xleh abang nak bayang kan cam mana....tgk laa sendiri gambar tu….
ok lah ayang.. nnti lepas cuti skolah kita jumpa lagi eah.. bye ayang
love, abang | |
| | | Corazón Roto roadkill
Number of posts : 487 Location : Río de bambú. mis compañeros amigos! Estoy aprendiendo español! Registration date : 15/09/2007
| | | | hafizazzim hell blazer
Number of posts : 521 Location : one step only Registration date : 13/08/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:55 pm | |
| A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in,' she said. The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns, and whispers back, 'And I had no idea your father was a pharmacist. moral of the story - get to know your girlfriend's father first | |
| | | qbee125 marshall
Number of posts : 84 Age : 43 Location : lumut , shah alam , sepanga Registration date : 25/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:50 pm | |
| No speakah de english
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated Conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention Is Galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: 'Emma come First. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, They come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one Lasta Time.' The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig.' She Retorted indignantly. 'In this country, we don't speak aloud on Public Places about our sex lives.' 'Hey, coola down lady, ' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a Justa Tellin my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi ','
Bet you're gonna read this again! | |
| | | hafizazzim hell blazer
Number of posts : 521 Location : one step only Registration date : 13/08/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Thu May 15, 2008 1:41 pm | |
| Bila din balik kerja, isterinya suruh ke pasaraya untuk membeli barang-barang dapur. Jadi pergilah si din membeli semua barang- barang yang dipesan.
Bila pulang ke rumah, isterinya mengambil beg-beg plastik dan membawa keluar semua barang untuk disimpan. Isteri terjumpalah satu tin marjerin. Di luar tin tu ada tulis ... FREE... Isteri tanya si din, mana benda yang 'FREE' ini? Kenapa tak ambil? Din katalah lupa hendak meminta benda itu tadi. Maka isterinya pun menyuruh si din pergi semula ke pasaraya tersebut untuk menebus benda 'FREE' itu.
Din pun pergilah membawa tin planta tadi jumpa jurujual untuk menebus benda 'FREE' yang tertulis. Bertengkarlah din tadi dengan jurujual terbabit. Jurujual itu kata benda 'FREE' itu ada dalam tin. Din kata mana boleh, dalam mesti tak ada punya.Dia terus meminta dari jurujual.
Penyelia yang kebetulan lalu di situ dan terdengar pertengkaran mereka. Apabila ditanya, dia pula dimarahi oleh si din tadi. Si din berkenaan minta juga benda 'FREE' dari penyelia itu. Din tadi tunjuk tin planta yang ada bertulis 'FREE' itu. Supervisor tadi belek kanan belek kiri tin planta tersebut. Dia membaca tulisan berbahasa Inggeris itu ..CHOLESTEROL FREE...!!! | |
| | | hafizazzim hell blazer
Number of posts : 521 Location : one step only Registration date : 13/08/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:48 pm | |
| Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement. Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself. Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together. Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class. Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets spend the week together.
Grandpa(the 1st boss ) make call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting. Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip. Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip. Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: This week we will have class as usual. Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company. Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement . | |
| | | ujang6009 hell blazer
Number of posts : 712 Location : Di mAnA aKu riDe, Di SiTulAh tMpTku Registration date : 15/11/2007
| Subject: Full Bar Coverage Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:11 am | |
| Full Bar Coverage Handphone ataupun telefon bimbit secanggih mana pun tidak berguna sekiranya coverage tak ada kan . Di dalam lif dan basement tempat parking kereta merupakan antara kawasan 'pantang' bagi handphone (hp). Ini kerana di tempat-tempat tersebut coverage hp amat rendah sehingga 1 bar dan kadang-kadang tiada langsung! Bayangkan sekiranya anda berada dalam situasi yang yang cemas dan amat memerlukan pertolongan. Tetapi hp mahal anda itu tidak dapat melaksanakan tugasnya dengan cemerlang. Tentu anda mempunyai sebab munasabah untuk berasa kecewa dan menyesal bukan??? Ini satu informasi untuk anda dan sesiapa sahaja yang menggunakan hp 1G, 2G ataupun 3G. Dengan menggunakan wang kertas RM2 sahaja anda boleh mendapatkan full bar untuk hp walaupun di mana sahaja anda berada. Ini kerana wang kertas RM2 mempunyai satu elemen untuk 'boost up' coverage hp anda. Mungkin anda berasa sedikit hairan. Tetapi percayalah ini merupakan satu kenyataan yang tidak boleh dinafikan!!! Kaedah ini sesuai untuk semua pengguna 013, 016, 019, 012, 017 dan sebagainya. Caranya ( Perhatian ila baca dan ikuti langkah-langkah ini dengan teliti) : Langkah 1 : Off atau matikan hp anda. Langkah 2 : Lipatkan wang kertas RM2 menjadi sama saiz dengan bateri hp anda. Kemudian selitkan duit yang telah dilipat tadi bersama bateri hp anda. Langkah 3 : On atau hidupkankan semula hp. Periksa bar pada hp anda. Semasa hp anda on, pastikan kod 'ID. 10T' tertera pada skrin hp anda. Sekiranya kod 'ID. 10T' tertera di skrin, hp anda tidak akan mengalami masalah coverage lagi! *Sila ambil perhatian; Sekiranya kod 'ID.10T' tidak tertera pada skrin, sila periksa sebuah satelit yang besar di belakang wang kertas RM2 tersebut. Pastikan sama ada satelit tersebut berfungsi dengan baik atau tidak. Sekiranya masih tidak berjaya, sila ketuk-ketuk sikit hp anda dengan duit RM2 tu sekali. Sila periksa samada tengkolok Agong jatuh ataupun tidak. Kedudukan tengkolok yang tidak stabil mungkin penyebab mengapa kod 'ID.10T' tidak muncul di skrin hp anda. Kalau masih tidak berjaya hentakkan hp di dahi anda 10 kali. Mungkin kod 'ID.10T' dah bertukar menjadi 'IDIOT' ! Sape tahu yer tak?? Jgn marah kalau dah terkena...... Nasib baik duit RM2 tak dicetak lagi. Kalau tidak, lagi ramai yg fikir benda ni betul-betul...tapi cobaan.....[img][/img][img][img][/img][img] | |
| | | hafizazzim hell blazer
Number of posts : 521 Location : one step only Registration date : 13/08/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:40 pm | |
| Pada zaman dahulu kala, ada 3 orang Don. Mereka selalu bersama kemana saja mereka pergi. Tapi ke-tiga2nya memiliki kegemaran berlainan. A Don Dino (suka main perempuan). B Don Dono (suka minum minuman keras). C Don Din (suka segala jenis rokok) . Suatu hari ketiga sahabat ini berjalan jalan tanpa tujuan. Tiba2 ketiganya bertemu dengan sebuah ketel/kendi (seperti cerita Aladin). Lalu salah seorang mengambilnya lalu meng-gosok2kan ketel tersebut. Sejurus kemudian asap keluar dari corong ketel tersebut dan secara perlahan berganti menjadi satu makluk yang menyeramkan yakni seekor/seorang (?) jin yang ganas.Lalu jin tersebut tertawa: "Ha ha ha .." dan berkata"Akulah Jin Ifrit ! Karena kamu telah membebaskan aku dari ketel itu maka aku akan tunaikan apa saja permintaan kamu sekalian. !!" Ketiga sahabat yang pada mulanya panik dan takut menjadi gembira lalu termenung dan ber! pikir tentang peluang dan kemauan masing2 yang mungkin sekali dalam seumur hidup. Lalu mereka memilih kemauan mengikuti kegemaran masing2. Berkata si A,"Aku mau perempuan2 muda dari berbagai bangsa di seluruh dunia dan letakkan dalam sebuah gua tertutup dan jangan ganggu aku selama 10 tahun." Pufff ........!! dengan sekejap mata jin itu menyempurnakan permintaan si A. Berkata si B,"Aku mau semua jenis arak dari seluruh dunia untuk bekal selama sepuluh tahun dan letakkan dalam sebuah gua tertutup dan jangan ganggu aku selama 10 tahun." Pufff ........ !! dengan sekejap mata jin itu menyempurnakan permintaan si B. Berkata pula si C,"Aku mau semua jenis rokok dari seluruh dunia untuk bekal selama sepuluh tahun dan letakkan dalam sebuah gua tertutup dan jangan ganggu aku selama 10 tahun." Pufff .......... !! dengan sekejap mata jin itu menyempurnakan permintaan si C. Setelah genap 10 tahun, maka jin tersebut muncul kembali untuk membuka pintu gua masing2 sebagaimana yang dijanjikan. Maka jin tersebut pergi membuka pintu gua si A, ketika dibuka maka keluarlah si A dengan keadaan kurus kering, berdiri pun tidak bisa karena tidak sanggup untuk menggerakkan lutut sebab hari2 hanya memuaskan nafsu dengan perempuan.Tiba2 si A pun jatuh ketanah lalu mati!! Setelah itu jin tersebut pergi ke gua si B, ketika pintu dibuka maka keluarlah si B dengan perut yang sangat buncit karena hari2 mabuk2an.Jalan pun terhuyung-hayang. Tiba2 si B pun jatuh ketanah lalu mati !! Setelah itu jin pergi ke gua si C dan membuka pintu gua. Tiba2 si C keluar dalam keadaan sehat walafiat dan terus MENAMPAR si jin. Sambil me- maki2 si jin ia berkata : JIN GOOOOOBLOOOKK ...!!!! lighter nye MANAAAAAAAAA ...???!! moral of the story : rajin usaha tangga kejayaan.... | |
| | | Corazón Roto roadkill
Number of posts : 487 Location : Río de bambú. mis compañeros amigos! Estoy aprendiendo español! Registration date : 15/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:45 am | |
| BRA SIZES (as defined by bikers!) Did you ever wonder why A, B, C, D, E, & F are used to define bra sizes? A - Almost boobs B - Barely there C - Can do D - Darn good E - Enormous F - Fake | |
| | | Corazón Roto roadkill
Number of posts : 487 Location : Río de bambú. mis compañeros amigos! Estoy aprendiendo español! Registration date : 15/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:03 am | |
| The Heart Surgeon and the Motorcycle Mechanic A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a motorcycle when he spotted a well known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So, Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic ... "Try doing it with the engine running!" | |
| | | hafizz hell blazer
Number of posts : 662 Location : Setapak, KL Registration date : 26/08/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:37 pm | |
| Body: *Murid* : Selamat pagi, Cikgu.
> > *Cikgu* : (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja? > > Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat? > >
*Murid* : Selamat pagi, petang dan malam Cikgu! > > *Cikgu* : Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh > > orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan > > penuh > > bermakna.
Lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua > > masa dan keadaan.
> >
*Murid* : Selamat sejahtera Cikgu! > > *Cikgu* : Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik.
> > Hari ini Cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang > > perkataan > > berlawan.
Bila Cikgu sebutkan perkataannya, > > kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan > > bagi > > perkataan-perkataan itu, faham? > > *Murid* : Faham, Cikgu! > >
*Cikgu* : Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.
> > *Murid* : (senyap) > > *Cikgu* : Pandai! > > *Murid* : Bodoh! > > *Cikgu* : Tinggi! > > *Murid* : Rendah! > > *Cikgu* : Jauh! > > *Murid* : Dekat! > > *Cikgu* : Keadilan! > > *Murid* : UMNO! > > *Cikgu* : Salah! > > *Murid* : Betul! > > *Cikgu* : Bodoh! > > *Murid* : Pandai! > > *Cikgu* : Bukan! > > *Murid* : Ya! > >
*Cikgu* : Oh Tuhan! > > *Murid* : Oh Hamba! > > *Cikgu* : Dengar ini! > > *Murid* : Dengar itu! > > *Cikgu* : Diam! > > *Murid* : Bising! > > *Cikgu* : Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh! > > *Murid* : Ini ialah jawapan, pandai! > > *Cikgu* : Mati aku! > > *Murid* : Hidup kami! > > *Cikgu* : Rotan baru tau! > > *Murid* : Akar lama tak tau! > > *Cikgu* : Malas aku ajar kamu! > > *Murid* : Rajin kami belajar Cikgu! > >
*Cikgu* : Kamu gila! > > *Murid* : Kami siuman! > > *Cikgu* : Cukup! Cukup! > > *Murid* : Kurang! Kurang! > > *Cikgu* : Sudah! Sudah! > > *Murid* : Belum! Belum! > > *Cikgu* : Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat? > > *Murid* : Sebab saya seorang pandai! > > *Cikgu* : Oh! Melawan! > > *Murid* : Oh! Mengalah! > > *Cikgu* : Kurang ajar! > > *Murid* : Cukup ajar! > > *Cikgu* : Habis aku! > > *Murid* : Kekal kami! > >
*Cikgu* : O.K.
Pelajaran sudah habis! > > *Murid* : K.O.
Pelajaran belum bermula! > > *Cikgu* : Sudah, bodoh! > > *Murid* : Belum, pandai! > > *Cikgu* : Berdiri! > > *Murid* : Duduk! > >
*Cikgu* : Saya kata UMNO salah! > > *Murid* : Kami dengar KeADILan betul! > > *Cikgu* : Bangang kamu ni! > > *Murid* : Cerdik kami tu! > > *Cikgu* : Rosak! > > *Murid* : Baik! > >
*Cikgu* : Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini! > > *Murid* : Dilepaskan tengah malam itu! > >
*Cikgu* : (Senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar.
) | |
| | | hafizz hell blazer
Number of posts : 662 Location : Setapak, KL Registration date : 26/08/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:46 pm | |
| Peribahasa: Lembu punya susu, Nestle dapat nama.
Maknanya: Macam mana keras bekerja pun, macam mana nya canggih idea kita pun, last last, boss jugak yang dapat nama.
Apakan tidak, kat dalam management meeting, mana kita tau apa yang boss khabarkan kat ketua boss.
Peribahasa: Melepaskan batuk didalam lift.
Maknanya: Helo! Kalau nak lepaskan penyakit atau kuman tu carilah tempat yang sesuai! Jangan lah tempat awam yang ter-enclosed.
Besar nya hamlau!
Peribahasa: Seperti anjing jantan dgn anjing betina.
Maknanya: Dua orang yg pantang bertemu...asek nak beromen aje.
Peribahasa: Sepandai-pandai lalat terbang akhirnya ketaik jugak dia hinggap.
Maknanya: Orang kalau dah perokok tu...kalau dia berenti....akhirnya dia gerenti start balik punyer.
Peribahasa:Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, tak pernah masok ke sukan Olimpik jua.
Maknanya: Jangan macam bagus....pasal yg macam bagus tu lah selalunya tak bagus.
Peribahasa: Biar putih tulang jangan kuning gigi.
Maknanya: Macam mana nya hensem ke, macho ke, hero ke, kalau gigi tu tak jaga, kuning-berkarat, jangan lah eksen kental nak tackle pompan. Geli-geman di buat nya.
Peribahasa: Kalau tidak ader angin masakan satu LRT boleh bau busuk? Maknanya: Ada orang kentotlah tu...
Peribahasa: Seperti kacang luperkan mamak kacang putih.
Maknanya: Orang yg tak sedar diri....tak kenang jasa baik orang yg muler-muler memfofularkan dia.
Peribahasa: Ader udang di sebalik udang lain Maknanya: Jgn sangka yg duduk sorang kat tempat sunyi tu sorang....check betul-betul, mesti ader sorang lagi...... kat bawah ke....kat tengah ke...tengah baring ke....
Peribahasa: Biar mati anak jgn mati pucuk Maknanya: Kalau dah mati pucuk camner nak dapat anak......bro!!!!
Peribahasa: Sudah jatuh ditimpa piano <-- Klassik siak! Maknanya: Nasib malang yg tak agak-agak.
Peribahasa: Hidung tak mancung, gigi pulak yang mancung.
Maknanya: maknernyer . . maknernya............. Jgn nak tersengeh2 kat depan PC. Pi ah buat keje...
chowww... | |
| | | Corazón Roto roadkill
Number of posts : 487 Location : Río de bambú. mis compañeros amigos! Estoy aprendiendo español! Registration date : 15/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:02 pm | |
| ini apa kasik cerita pelajaran+cikgu ni... mementang lah engko nih cikgu... tapi kira macam kasi ilmu secara indirect la kot? | |
| | | hafizz hell blazer
Number of posts : 662 Location : Setapak, KL Registration date : 26/08/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Fri Jul 11, 2008 12:51 pm | |
| ini nama dia hiddent curicculum, (kurikulum tersembunyi), dlam pedagogi pengajaran dan pembelajaran, tidak semestinya semua input di sampaikan secara direct lesson (pembelajaran secara terus), adalah di sarankan supaya pelbagai method atau corak pengajaran dipelbagaikan bukan saja dari segi penyampaian tetapi pendekatan secara induktif serta interaksi dua hala amat digalakkan bagi menjamin input yang disampaikan terus kepada pelajar.
Prof Ir Dr Rumbha Al Pianist | |
| | | Corazón Roto roadkill
Number of posts : 487 Location : Río de bambú. mis compañeros amigos! Estoy aprendiendo español! Registration date : 15/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:12 pm | |
| you got the point there my man! you really did... hidup golongan pengajar...!!! sebab abang Long aku pun seorang Guru jua... beliau sentiasa menjadi idola aku.... | |
| | | qbee125 marshall
Number of posts : 84 Age : 43 Location : lumut , shah alam , sepanga Registration date : 25/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:22 am | |
| A farmer named Seamus had a car accident.
>> In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was >> questioning Seamus. >> >> 'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the >> accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. >> >> Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what >> happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into >> the...' >> >> 'I didn't ask for any details,' the solicitor >> interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not >> say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm >> fine'!?' >> >> Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the >> trailer and I was driving down the road...' >> >> The solicitor interrrupted again and said, 'Your >> Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the >> scene of the accident, this man told the police on the >> scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the >> accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a >> fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.' >> >> By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in >> Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor: >> 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his >> favorite cow, Bessie.' >> >> Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I >> was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into >> the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge >> lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit my >> trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and >> Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad >> like, I didn't want to move. However, I could hear old >> Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible >> shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a >> policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie >> moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After, he >> looked at her and saw her condition, he took out his gun >> and shot her between the eyes. >> >> Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, >> looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?' >> >> Now, what the f*ck would you say?' | |
| | | qbee125 marshall
Number of posts : 84 Age : 43 Location : lumut , shah alam , sepanga Registration date : 25/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:23 am | |
| >> A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because >> there's a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't >> figure out how to get it down safely. Soon, a van pulls up, >> and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball >> bat, and a gun. He hands the man the gun. >> >> 'Okay, here's what we do. I'm going to go up >> onto your roof, and threaten the gorilla with this baseball >> bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this little >> dog will bite him in the balls until he's >> incapacitated. ' >> >> 'Great,' says the man. 'But what's the >> gun for?' >> >> 'In case I fall down instead of the gorilla --- shoot >> the dog.' | |
| | | qbee125 marshall
Number of posts : 84 Age : 43 Location : lumut , shah alam , sepanga Registration date : 25/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:20 am | |
| Mengapa hanya gadis melayu di rasuk? Kes ini berlaku betul diruang pelajar perempuan membasuh kain.Berlaku diasrama puteri. Kebanyakan yang terkena rasukan adlah gadis melayu dan tidak pernah ada kes berlaku pada pelajar kaum cina danindia . Di mana salah nya........Kita ikuti percakapan antara bomoh melayu dan syaitan. kes histeria disekolah kat BSB...... Misteri di Asrama Puteri terjawap! Suatu hari, ada seorang ketua bomoh yang begitu berani hendak berjumpa dengan sekumpulan jin yang berlegar2 di asrama hinggakan mereka merasuk sebilangan pelajar di sekolah itu. Ketika sampai di sebuah bilik, ketua bomoh pun membaca sejenis mantera. Selepas membaca mantera, ketua bomoh pun memanggil ketua jin itu. Lalu ketua jin itu pun datang. Dengan menunjukkan wajah rupanya yang begitu hodoh dan jijik. Hinggakan ketua bomoh yang begitu berpengalaman itu pun hampir2 pengsan dibuatnya! Hinggakan mayat reput pun lebih baik dari wajah si ketua jin itu!!! Tapi si ketua bomoh tetap kuatkan semangatnya yang jitu. Lalu si ketua bomoh pun bertanya dengan kuat dan nyaring, menampakkan semangatnya yang tidak kendur walaupun terlihat sesuatu yang begitu menakutkan itu. "Mengapa kau rasuk pelajar sekolah di sini hah? Jawap!!!" Kenapa gadis melayu jadi sasaran kau wahai syaitan yang direjam" Dengan menarik nafas panjang, si ketua jin pun menjawab... ""Siapa Bilang Gadis Melayu Tak Menawan Tak Menarik Hati, Tiada Memikat" "Kalaulah Memang, Tak Mungkin Aku Tertarik Kalaulah Sungguh, Tak Mungkin Aku MERASUK..."" ""Aduhai... kekekeekeeee. .."" | |
| | | kupu2merah marshall
Number of posts : 83 Age : 42 Location : KUANTAN,PAHANG Registration date : 14/08/2008
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:14 pm | |
| hiii bro ni posa2 pun melawak tak baik ketawa terbahak2 nanti kurus posa tau | |
| | | Guest Guest
| | | | lee VKings@Lanun troopers roadkill
Number of posts : 345 Location : SIR DUNK,,,,ATAS TANAH BAWAH LANGIT Registration date : 19/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:12 am | |
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| | | ujang6009 hell blazer
Number of posts : 712 Location : Di mAnA aKu riDe, Di SiTulAh tMpTku Registration date : 15/11/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:50 am | |
| bukan dah sms kat aku ke lee??? | |
| | | lee VKings@Lanun troopers roadkill
Number of posts : 345 Location : SIR DUNK,,,,ATAS TANAH BAWAH LANGIT Registration date : 19/09/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:36 pm | |
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| | | hafizz hell blazer
Number of posts : 662 Location : Setapak, KL Registration date : 26/08/2007
| Subject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:04 am | |
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